Sesame Street – Ernie Breaks The Cokkie Jar
(Ernie walks in with a cooking pot and plops it on Bert’s head)
Ernie: Here Bert, try this on!
Bert: Hey, hey, Ernie, what are you doing? Get that pot off my head! Why?
Ernie: Well haa, ya see Bert, a little while ago, I dropped and broke the cookie jar.
Bert: Oh, Ernie, you didn’t!
Ernie: Mmm hmmm.
Bert: Oh well, all right, so you broke the cookie jar, but what’s it gotta do with that pot there, huh?
Ernie: Well you see, I had to put the cookies somewhere…
Bert: Yeah?
Ernie: Bert, um… just a second. I… I… I’ll show you, Bert.
Bert: (looks at camera) I don’t understand.
Ernie: (brings in sugar bowl full of cookies) See, I broke the cookie jar and so I had to put the cookies in the sugar bowl, see? (takes a taste of one)
Bert: Well… yeah, Ernie, but … but if you put the cookies in the sugar bowl, then where’d ya put the sugar?
Ernie: Well, I’ll show you, Bert! (famous Ernie hmm) Hmm hmm hmm (leaves with bowl and Bert looks at camera)
Bert: Yeah, show me. (does the famous head tilt)
Ernie: Ok, well you see, I put the sugar in the flower pot here.
Bert: In the flower pot?! Oh great … just great. Well WHERE’D you put the flower that was growing there, huh?
Ernie: Oh I’ll show you, Bert! (takes away the pot)
Bert: Ya gonna show me again … I don’t get this.
Ernie: (brings in milk bottle and flower) Ya see, I had to plant this flower here into this milk bottle, see … nicely planted, I watered it and everything.
Bert: (Looking very stunned) (Ernie looks straight into camera all proud, shaking his head about his nose) ERNIE!!!! (Shaking head)
Ernie: (Calmly) Hmm?
Bert: Well now WHERE is the milk?!
Ernie: Oh, I’ll show you, Bert.
Bert: (Ernie leaves) Ya gonna show me where the milk is too. Oh Ernie, I… (looks at Ernie returning with a root beer bottle.. stunned)
Ernie: See I put the milk into the, uh, soda bottle.
Bert: (Gets close to Ernie in quiet voice gradually getting louder) Ernie… I’m trying to be patient, but WHERE is the soda??
Ernie: Oh just a second, Bert, I’ll show you… (calmly as usual, Bert getting more stunned and irritated gives out his famous … )
Bert: Aaaaaaahhhh!
Ernie: (Brings in the soda-filled fishbowl) It wasn’t easy, but I put the soda in the (straining) mmm fishbowl.
Bert: In the fishbowl?! Ernie, this is CRAZY!! Now where are the fish?!?
Ernie: Oh… well, I’ll show you, Bert. (even calmer than before)
Bert: (stares into camera as Ernie leaves for a few seconds and …) Ooohhhh, Ernie, what are you doing now? (Mouth wider than ever in shock)
Ernie: Oh, I gotta carry it out here, Bert … I put the fish in … to … the cowboy hat, ya see.
Bert: (looks down into hat as fish squirts water in B.’s face) Oh, no… Eeeyah! (wipes face and stands there with mouth firmly closed very angry)
Ernie: (points calmly at fish in hat) Take it easy there, fella.
Bert: (angrily) Ernie, Ernie, that is MY cowboy hat …
Ernie: Yeah, so? (VERY calmly)
Bert: But ya, you but the fish in it, now what am I gonna do when I wanna play cowboy?
Ernie: Oh, umm, well (reaches for pot and puts it on Bert’s head) Ride em cowboy, Bert! (pats Bert on back) (Ernie’s patented laugh) Keheeheeheehee.